Detention
by angelofmynightmare
Summary: Lily finds herself bored in detention with a certain someone. What's a girl to do? Rated M for a tiny bit of language. A L/J one-shot.


**Detention**  
_A one-shot.  
And no, I'm not JKR._

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Lily hated detention.  
Well, she decided, hate was a strong word, and she didn't hate...she disliked. Lily _disliked_ detention.

It wasn't like anyone actually liked detention though, did they? Even the Marauders, frequent visitors as they were, protested and pleaded with McGonagall when they received detention, albeit halfheartedly.

Wringing out her sponge for what seemed like the millionth time, Lily scrutinized the stone wall in front of her, the stupid surface that she had been scrubbing for the last three hours, fifty-four minutes without much improvement. As far as she was concerned, it still looked like shit. Blowing a free strand of hair out of her eyes, Lily slapped the sponge back against the wall and resumed her cleaning.

It wasn't the tasks that accompanied detention that she disliked so much; after all, she was a fan of hard work, but it was the overall dullness of it all. Maybe if the stones sparkled when you cleaned them, or maybe if she had a radio to listen to, the whole experience would be more interesting. As it was, however, detention was boring.

Well, sort of.

Lily risked a look at her detention companion out of the corner of her eye. Hah, he looked frustrated. Poor thing, you'd think after some hundred detentions you'd get used to it, but apparently not for James Potter.

Ugh, she was bored. Her mentally insane personality wasn't going to be able to handle this for much longer. There must be something in here to entertain her?

Was she bored enough to?...Lily risked a quick glance at James' pants. Apparently stones didn't turn him on. Damn.

Anyway, she wasn't that bored yet, she could maybe last another thirty seconds before turning him on herself.

La-di-da-di-da.

Lily scrubbed the wall a little harder, watching James out of the corner of her eye and putting on her best blasé face.

"Wanna have sex?"

In the span of a few seconds, James Potter managed to drop his sponge (it hit him in the crotch on the way down, something Lily couldn't help but internally grin at), lose all ability to speak, and disappear into a coughing fit.

Lily wrung her sponge out and returned to the wall.

"I'll take that as a no then."

James looked at her aghast. "Wait...no...what?..."

Lily found a bit of mold in between a crack in one of the large stones and focused her attention on that. "Would-you-like-to-have-sex."

James did a rather good impression of a goldfish, Lily decided, taking a quick peek at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Just because your mouth is opening and closing doesn't mean I can actually hear you, you know."

"Ahhh...what the fuck?...Evans...Lily, you can't just pop a question like that on a guy!"

"Why ever not?" Lily shot James a consoling look. "Ahh, because you're a virgin!"

James spluttered. "What?...no...Jesus...I've had sex!"

Lily nodded understandingly, picking up a mop to clean up the drips of soapy water that had escaped to the floor. "Of course you have, it's only to be expected."

"What do you mean it's only to be...Wait, you're a virgin, aren't you?"

Lily sighed, returning to her sponge.

"Potter, I'm 17 years old and not wholly unattractive, of course I've had sex."

James was holding onto the wall as though he was suddenly finding it difficult to stand.

"But how is that possible? I swear I threatened every boy here that if they laid a finger on you..."

Lily interrupted him, stretching up on to her tippy-toes to scrub a little higher up the wall.

"Muggle world," she said conversationally.

James slapped his hand against his head and swore. "I knew I was forgetting something. Stupid Muggles."

Lily shot him a look.

"I mean, wonderful Muggles. Bloody wonderful Muggles, popping _my _cherry." He retrieved his sponge from the ground and started to suddenly scrub the stones with renewed fervor.

"Oh for heaven's sakes, James! I'm offering you sex here and now, aren't I?"

"We can't just have sex!" James burst out.

"Why ever not? You do it all the time; I do it all..." she stopped, seeing the look on James' face. "I mean, I've never ever done it and I'm definitely wearing white cotton knickers and most certainly not lacy black ones?"

James groaned. "Nice try."

Lily stamped her foot, feeling the tiniest bit childish and annoyed.

"Juh-aye-mz, come on! It will be fu-uh-n!"

James dropped his sponge back into the soapy water with a little splash, and gave her a piercing look. "No."

Lily pouted and threw her sponge into the bucket as well. "Why not?"

James started to walk towards her, his eyes a warm, dark color. "Because, this isn't right. We aren't supposed to just all of a sudden jump on each other because you're bored."

James placed one arm on either side of her body, and Lily couldn't help but sigh. Damn, he'd seen through her!

"Well then James," she whispered with indifference, raising one eyebrow while she looked up at him, "what is it you want?"

"Oh god Lily, you know what," he moaned, closing his eyes as if to give himself a little patience, his fingers drumming impatiently by her head.

"No. Let me hear it one more time, just for grins," she said sassily, leaning towards him and tugging gently on his crooked tie.

James squinted at her, giving her a look that made Lily want to blush.

"I want you. And not just the body. Please. One freaking date!"

Lily gave him a sexy smile, leaning in even closer to whisper to him, willingly letting her lips brush against his ear.

"You can't always get what you want."

With that, she ducked underneath his arm, slapping his ass with the back of her hand as she walked past him and towards the exit to the Owlery.

"Bloody hell, Evans," James yelled out from behind her, the frustration so evident in his voice it made Lily want to cackle with her total evilness.

Lily reached the end of the hallway and adjusted her facial expression, before turning back around and giving him a flirty wink.

"Goodnight, Potter!"

Turning the corner to return back to the Head Dormitories, Lily allowed a full-fledged grin to spread its way across her face.

Damn...that felt good...

There was nothing as fun as an evening teasing Potter.

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_  
Hehe, okay, all done! Hope you enjoyed, this was a midnight production. Just a one-shot, although depending on what people think I may push my self to write a few accompanying pieces, we'll see how it goes. Review!!  
_

_-k_


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